From a Tower in the Woods

Live Long and Prosper.

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:26:56 GMT

I think I will be hearing a lot of that tomorrow when I wear the Vulcan costume. I am pretty sure I am dressing up in Star Trek garb for Halloween mostly because I LOVE talking about it. Quite logical.

List of Things to End an Epoch

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:10:24 GMT

As a result of the end of a year's worth of therapy sessions I would like to recap some nuggets of fantastic (?) self insight and/or random bits of self revelations:

1. My father has denigrated into a super meme of himself which basically consists of the greedy Jewish stereotype. Thanks Dad, way to show THEM that stereotypes are archaic and not rooted in truth. I have less in common with him than I thought. He doesn't ever listen to me. He doesn't accept me for who I am. I don't care. This realization has enabled me to do anything and everything I was always too scared to do. The sense of freedom and clarity is thrilling and I will never look back in guilt ever again.

2. I am an exhibitionist, literally and figuratively. High fives for nude beaches.

3. My mother is actually more like me than I thought. I am just the hyper-academic, slightly more manic, less repetitive, more thoroughly engrossed version of her. That's okay. She accepts me for who I am. Even the making out with girls, having radical views, and general "Hedonism" that I can sometimes seem to exhibit.

4. I don't have to split everyone that starkly contrasts my views or sense of being. I can accept the differences without having to agree or understand them. I also don't have to split people that annoy me. I can just, not hang out with them for awhile.

5. The less I avoid things, the better—in the long run anyway.

6. I love boobs.

7. Having a more general sense of independence is working wonders for my mysterious quotient.

8. Having a definitive diagnosis takes away some of the neuroticism surrounding the issue. Bipolar II, co-morbid Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Answers so many questions about my reactions to things.

9. I still don't support being medicated. It is a slow process, but training oneself to have just one second of "lag time" has made all the difference.

10. I am genuinely hilarious. Both master of puns and top of the lesbian food chain. It is kind of ep(och)ic. I kid...

I Need to Go...

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 16:51:32 GMT

to a garage sale or something. I re-arranged the living room and the feng shui is a bit off. I need mini tables and stuff. Maybe I will brave the humungous sale going on at my work right now. I will look to see what's going for cheap at the big blue box. Oh and, found a roommate! Yay! He builds and designs modern furniture that actually looks quite amazing. I would buy it for sure.

Synechdote , NY is awesome so far. I started watching it last night and I think that Charlie Kaufman has done it again. I really love the screenplays he writes. They are brilliant.

The Force: Star Wars game. not so good. Glad we are only renting it. Paper Mario, here I come.

Ugh...

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:08:57 GMT

work. For some reason yesterday there was a number of creepy 40 something men that kept a lingering stare with me. Gross. Also, only closing with two people when we were swamped with people before hand, pretty lame. I've been having dreams that I am shrinking people, chasing tricksters that take my yellow shoes and switch them up with at least 20 other yellow shoes and match them with two left foot shoes, and setting them underneath yellow chairs. Hmmm. I should probably get ready so I have time for Pad Thai before I go to work. Oh yeah, and having a soundtrack that is inappropriate in a dream is even more disconcerting. Burt Bacharach, how do your pop diddies become my soundtrack?

Arctic Terror

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 23:22:36 GMT

Is all around me. Freezing rain falling all around thee. What you should know is that you can not see, the icy sheet forming underneath me.

And Then There Were None

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 09:30:12 GMT

Dude, I totally finished my murder mystery game. I am going to sell back Tomb Raider, Harry Potter, Agatha Christie, and Crash Bandicoot for a totally new and amazing Wii game. Maybe Wii Music? Or *gasp* DDR. That could go horribly wrong, or I could be so fit that it rocks way too hard. My hair is red. Complimentary video to come. I have to live up to the crazy and make it even more pointless and ridiculous. Or, I could make an amazing sci-fi short featuring me and my red hair. This could become epic. Get ready for it.

Tachyons and Hyperspace and All That

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 22:04:41 GMT

I am going to start watching the entirety of Star Trek after I finish watching Mad Men. My work friend Ethan and I calculated how long it would take to watch every episode from each season/version of the show and it would take me a whopping 24 days straight. I think I will probably only watch the original series and the Next Generation though because those are the good 'uns. I may also consider watching some of the movies as well. The reason I have decided it is finally time to start my trek into Star Trek is because there is a Star Trek movie coming out in May or so with the writers of Lost writing for it. Captain Kirk is also being played by the guy who plays Sylar on Heroes. I think that is reason enough to get started.

Nolan...

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 22:42:10 GMT

Is obsessed with that Zelda game. A good 30 hours in the past couple of weeks. Wowzer! I should be finished with my paper and am not. I have such a headache though and I really don't want to do any work right now. Ugh. I'll take an aspirin and eat some food and then get started I suppose. It just needs to be awesome because I am in the super awesome advanced group and we start and end all of our group meetings with high fives. Sometimes, I feel like I am a part of the perfectionist German team from Cool Runnings only, not bobsledding, but media analysis. Oh well. Schnappi Schnapp and stuff.

Blue Hair and Stuff

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 03:28:15 GMT

Writer's Block: Revolutionary Thought

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 02:39:49 GMT

It's the anniversary of the Russian Revolution, marking the Marxist overthrow of the Russian government. Karl Marx once wrote that "religion is the opium of the people." What is the new opium of the people?

View 500 Answers

Things sure haven't changed.

Nolan is the fluffiest kitty in this town and all towns

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:34:22 GMT

For REALZ!

Looking for a Cellist

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 21:33:08 GMT

I posted an ad to craigslist for a cello player. If you, or anyone you know, knows of a cello player in the greater portland area who wants to accompany pop music (harry nilsson, arcade fire, penguin cafe orchestra) let me know. I need strings!

I think I am going to make more videos later, but first, going to get ready, return movies, pick up Nolan from work, and try to not die in the process (I live in Portland, fucking, Oregon and yet it is 103 degrees outside). This is totally f'd up.

Purple Hair

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 21:26:29 GMT

The Orcas

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:55:39 GMT

I had a dream that I had to save my pet orca from being poached so I somehow, magically turned the orca into a baby that I hid in my backpack. Then I climbed and descended a glacial mountain. At the base of this mountain was a giant glacial river. After being chased by the poacher who looked strangely like Vince Vaughn, I set the "baby" free into the water. He swam away, looking strangely like a penguin until I looked closer and realized he had become an orca once again. In whale speak, the orca told me he would be back one day. Yes, I understand whale speak, get over it.

Woo Hoo

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:10:57 GMT

Laura Marling from Noah and the Whale is coming to town in September...going!!!! Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys is coming to town in September...GOING!!! Violet is my favorite color so tomorrow I am GOING to dye it thusly. Pictures to come.

Did you know that the Great White Shark only feeds the hour before dawn? 5am surfers beware. They are also most prevalent off the coast of South Africa but attack humans the most off the coast of California. They are just trying to weed out douche bags I guess, although, I find myself enjoying the company of most surfers, so I take that back.

Today as I was getting ready the doorbell rang and I answered in my jim jams. This fellow who looked to be about my age, but probably younger was trying to sell me vinyl siding. His approach was quite humorous. He started by asking me if my parents were home. Apparently I am 14 years old. He was embarrassed when he found out that I was 22, renting the house, and not interested.

Composing

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 19:08:14 GMT

So, I'm making a music video for the Pajama Song and composing a piece for the 48 hour film fest contest. What they do is they give the director (our friend Alex) a genre and he has 48 hours to create a short film and submit it. Nolan and I will be in charge of the music for the film. This should be exciting. After perusing the previous entries/winners, I would definitely say that Alex has a real running chance to win the contest.

Also, I saw a couple of movies that were almost cosmically pertinent to my "situation" as of late. The Tracy Fragments and Flakes. The latter being not quite as good but strangely more pertinent.

I Got This New $ Plan and I am Sticking to it

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:59:45 GMT

I wrote out a prospective plan to eliminate all my credit debt and it includes eating less food. I will lose the bit of chub I still have from eating too much sugary foods by eating nothing but malt o' meal, edamame, fruits, pita bread, and pasta for the next month or two. No more fried foods, sugar fixes, eating questionable food at work, driving my car to work on mid shifts, driving my car anywhere on my days off unless it is REALLY far away, or soda/overly sugary drinks. I need to cut $100 out of my monthly grocery bill (a year ago I used to spend a lot less and yes I know the prices have gone up slightly but not so drastically that I would spend more than $100 more a month on food). This plan will eliminate my debt by January. I think it is a good one. I will start today by listing things that I had been planning to sell on Ebay months ago.

I also started my FAFSA, presumably finished mixing the demo, bought the packaging for the CD's, and bought school supplies early so I wouldn't have to worry about it later. Still need to fix Nolan's bicycle, strip the pInt and spray paint it metallic gold. It always seems to be the very last thing I get done. Probably because it is always a bit more expensive to fix than it should be. *sigh* It's Ebay time.

Also, I had this strange dream that a middle aged woman in a buggy decided she was going to play chicken with me in the IKEA parking lot. I yelled at her to get on the right side of the road and she tried to side swipe me as she moved away. I jumped out of my car, stared down at the license plate on her strange looking buggy car, and took the number from it. She kept yelling I would be sorry and how this would devastate her family if I called her in, but I ignored her illegally driving and hogging the road ass and proceeded anyway.

I signed up for classes...

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:30:39 GMT

And it is looking alright. Music theory I, Sight Singing and Ear Training, World Music: Africa, and Media Literacy. Hopefully I can get a hold of some of these professors who ignore my emails and sign up for Applied Music (private lessons) and one of the choirs (namely University choir because it will have the least impact on my time). I finally got my grades from winter term ( I was locked out of my account and couldn't access that information) and I got 2 A's and a B. Woo. I got an A in my American Lit class which is crazy impressive because I had to read hundreds of pages a day and write some really intense papers. I got a B in the African film class which is also highly impressive considering my failure on the midterm. And you know, A in music technology.

I talked to Megan and she had loads of drama. I finally organized my closet and I can see all my clothes. Nolan is aggro at me because he thinks I have been ignoring him all night but I have been signing both of us up for classes. Now he won't have to worry about anything except applied music, jazz lab band, and everything else that needs attending to, like auditioning for the music program. Bleh. I hate auditions.

I saw the X Files movie and well, it was a beautiful flaming ball of shite. I loved every moment of its horribleness. Also, I was at the laundromat the other day and this guy who was maybe friends or even business partners with the laundromat owner started talking to Nolan and I and he was REALLY intensely Jewish/chatty/avid bargain hunter/money savvy/did that strange lip smacking and licking thing that The Joker does in the new Batman movie. It was really amazing/intense. It pretty much made my week.

Oxford Comma

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:47:39 GMT

Vampire Weekend was amazing! There was literally a sea of people for what seemed like a mile. The most intense part was it was literally like being in a sardine can.

How do you aid this situation do you ask as to not have a brutal panic attack, which I did have during Les Savy Fav because it was a bit too obnoxious? You become "that guy" at the show and dance like a madman the entire time and sing all the words loudly. Then when people least expect it, you start pushing the crowd to get them going. All the while, snickering that no one would suspect that the tiny girl in the crowd was the one doing the pushing. As an aside, to that homely looking girl that heard me say it was me, I was pushing everyone around, thanks for finding it funny. Exit plan for sardine show, make a train and plow through, while dancing of course. Bro jocks will yell things like "Hey! What the fuck dude!" and as a tiny girl you will muster up your burliest and most intimidating tone of, "seriously dude, what the fuck!," only to have some other guy say something not clever or relevent like, "seriously, you should grow a little bit." What? People will be like, "what the fuck, stop pushing" and you will bellow in that same burly tone, "if you couldn't deal with the crowd you should have stayed home sucka!"

Yesterday the sassiest gal on Pike street said I had an amazing outfit on (yes I was wearing a ridiculous get up with bright yellow tights, zebra shorts, red loungey shirt with white polka dots, and a Domo bag slung around my shoulder). There was also this raver girl at the show...the only raver girl at the show or anywhere else that I have seen a JNCO wearing girlie in years for that matter that flipped out when she saw my Domo bag. My fashion sense is basically amazing. I don't know if Nolan took any pictures of my sassy outfit, but I'll go through the photos. I sure took a lot. Anyway, more to come later.

Road Trip in T-Minus Nine Hours

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:48:04 GMT

Jill, my sort of manager is moving in on Saturday and Brandon is off to Alaska Friday. This brief change should be good, but I am more excited by the Tyson moving in at the beginning of September. School in two months...gonna be awesome to just have to focus on music. In fact, it almost makes me ecstatic. Tyson is a Tyrannosaurus Rex. That is his power animal. He loves it.

I Live in a Van Down By the River

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:39:54 GMT

Friday, going to see Vampire Weekend. Whoa yeah. I am a hungry hippo in a hiipodrome searching for adventure. Ha cha cha.

Summer Gun

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:08:10 GMT

The fiery thoughts inside my chest never let the morning rest.

Things are far more difficult, but far more fulfilling. I think the time has come for posts to start firing and journaling to be rekindled. on a more ridiculous note, I may buy an aviator panda hat...check it out---->

Interesting...Doesn't change my vote 'since I am already 100% Obama

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:44:47 GMT

Anthropologists call them Indians Again, NOT Native Americans

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 23:06:38 GMT

Started classes Monday. My American Lit. teacher is a bonkers (in a good way) Existentialist/Atheist/Jew (aka Woody Allen) and the class a jam packed with work. Very Interesting though. We have already discussed Chris Columbus, the Iroquois, many Indian creation stories, and the degradation of Oregon public schools/colleges.

Modern Music Technology is going to perfectly allign and help me through the recording process which I am currently going through. I can even turn in my finished CD for my personal project due at the end of the course.

African Film and Film Makers...pretty self-explanatory. We watch movies and talk about racism. Completely amazing course as I have always been obsessed with the topic.

On much more crappy note, I have to go to work in about 5 minutes because my boss is not scheduling savvy and has scheduled me to work on school days which leave me showing up 2 hours late. Today I lucked out...I dropped choir, but he doesn't need to know that. I need more ME time to get homework done and play music dudes.

The Cat Confirms

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:46:40 GMT

What Amber Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?